TOTP: Boys, you’ve done a lot in 2004. But are there things you want to improve in 2005?
Tom: I’m going to eat healthier, and lose a bit of weight, and exercise more, and that’s it.
Dougie: Mine is to swim the Atlantic Ocean. [Solemnly] And I will do it.
Danny: I’ve swam in that ocean. Mine is to start looking after my little gentle body.
Tom: He meant swim the length of the ocean!
Dougie: Yeah, I didn’t mean just go in it, I meant swim the whole thing.
Danny: You’ll never do it, Dougie.
Dougie: Yeah, I will. I swam the length of the swimming pool.
Danny: Oh, I get it! I thought you meant the whole length, not a whole length. Cos a whole length, you can see you from the beach if you swim a length.
Tom: Danny, a length isn’t a measurement, a length is however long it is from one side to the other!
Danny: Oh, is it?
Tom: See, this is what we have to put up with! He thought a length was a measurement. Like, how tall are you? I’m a length. What’s your shoe size? I’m a length.
[Danny and Dougie cackle in the background.]
Danny: Oh dear. I did go to school. Honestly.